Sexual Assault & Abuse | Feminist Trauma Therapy
April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and here in California, we’re in the middle of learning about allegations against yet another high profile politician. Eric Swalwell, who recently dropped out of the governor’s race amidst accusations of violent rape and sexual abuse, has also resigned his position in the House of Representatives. Meanwhile, a known sexual predator continues to hold the highest office in the nation. Questions continue to circulate about the full extent of his starring role in the still-yet-to-be-fully-released Epstein files. And yesterday’s news of online communities of men teaching each other techniques for assaulting a partner has left me reeling.
What does it mean to be observing SAAM in 2026, when sexual abusers continue to be revealed—and often tolerated—in positions of power and influence? When we’re constantly reminded of the pervasiveness of sexual violence at every level of our society? It’s a disheartening, infuriating place to be, as a woman and as a psychologist. Especially after living through the righteous anger and mobilizing energy of the MeToo movement almost a decade ago now. We clearly still have so much work to do.
Sexual assault is, among other things, a serious mental health concern, and as a feminist psychologist I won’t stop talking about it.
It’s a major psychological injury, and can cause a wide range of psychiatric symptoms, including depression, anxiety, sleep disturbances, and posttraumatic stress. Many survivors experience problems in their relationships, issues with trust and intimacy, and harm to their sense of self-worth and self-esteem. Disordered eating behaviors and substance abuse can develop as coping mechanisms.
Beyond the mental health consequences, long-lasting physical health consequences like STIs, pregnancy, chronic pain and immune dysfunction are all associated with sexual assault. Given these consequences, it’s probably no surprise that survivors attempt suicide at a rate 10 times that of people who have not experienced SA.
Sexual assault is not just harmful—it’s horrifyingly, mind-numbingly common. According to the CDC, most recent data suggests that almost half of women, and over 1 in 6 men experience some form of sexual assault over their lifetime. Of those survivors, more than 1 out of 5 women, and 1 in 31 men have experienced a rape or rape attempt. We all know many SA and rape survivors, even if we don’t realize it. And those rates are elevated in vulnerable communities, like the LGBTQIA+ community and communities of color. Sexual assault is a crime of power, and so those of us with less power are more likely to be victims.
Prevention first
Sexual assault doesn’t come out of nowhere. It’s part of a broader pattern that includes the sexual objectification of women and girls, misogyny, and the demonization and dehumanization of LGBTQIA+ people. Those of us who care about addressing the epidemic of sexual assault would do well to start with prevention. This starts with disrupting the ways that sexual violence is normalized in our society.
Prevention efforts often focus on helping women and girls avoid assault, like teaching us to cover our drinks at bars, or not walking alone at night. These are harm reduction strategies that may still be an unfortunate necessity. But putting the onus on victims can’t be the cornerstone of our prevention strategy. Teaching consent, supporting bodily autonomy, and reducing the inequities that make some groups vulnerable are crucial.
We all have an important role to play
As an individual, that may look like proactively having conversations with your kids of all genders and ages about what consent looks like. It may be teaching kids accurate, age appropriate information about their bodies and sex. It could be shutting down a demeaning joke or comment among friends or family. (This is especially impactful coming from cis, straight men!) You can level up your skill set by seeking out bystander training to learn skills for disrupting harassment or deescalating potentially dangerous situations.
Stella Nova network psychologist Dr. Alexis López reminds us that prevention efforts need to take our cultural context into account. “For example, in Latinx/e communities you often encounter machismo and marianismo.” These cultural gender norms for men and women can influence how we talk about sexual assault. “Excessive machismo can teach men to associate dominance with strength or masculinity. Excessive marianismo can teach women to be submissive, self-sacrificing, and pure.” Preventing sexual assault means pushing back on gender roles that make assault more likely, and create blame or shame for victims.
Support survivors
Coming out as a survivor takes an immense amount of courage and vulnerability.
Despite the very low rate of false accusations, and the very high rate of assaults that go unreported, speaking up about sexual assault exposes survivors to an intense amount of scrutiny. People who have experienced a sexual assault frequently find themselves being disbelieved or blamed for what happened. They may be accused of being manipulative, attention seeking, or making accusations for revenge or personal gain. These experiences are often retraumatizing, adding additional injury on top of the pain of the assault itself.
That’s why it’s so important to believe someone if they choose to share a sexually traumatic experience with you.
It also means extending that belief to victims—even imperfect ones—in the public eye. The people in your life hear how you talk about sexual assault when it’s in the news. They notice how you respond when someone in your circle tells a harmful joke or makes a degrading remark. Your friend, your sibling, your family member or partner won’t come to you if they can’t trust you’ll be on their side.
Understanding trauma can help us respond more effectively and compassionately to survivors’ needs. Without a trauma-informed lens, some survivors’ actions can seem confusing. This can lead to doubt about the truth of their story. It’s not uncommon, for example, for people to freeze during an assault. Many do not put up physical resistance, or may participate or negotiate in some manner during the attack—for example, asking an attacker to stop and put on a condom. These actions can seem suspicious to others. They may also be a source of guilt or shame afterwards for the survivor. Memories of an attack may be disjointed or missing details. Survivors of trauma often have trouble putting their experience into a coherent, consistent narrative.
These are evolved, survival oriented responses that are based in biology, and shouldn’t be taken as signs that a survivor’s account is suspicious.
Let survivors take the lead in what type of support they want following an assault. You may be understandably full of rage to find a loved one has been harmed. However, making the assault about your own anger can shut down survivors and make it hard for them to come forward. You may have strong opinions about how you might respond in a similar situation, or whether to file a report. But the most important thing for survivors is to support their autonomy, the very thing that’s come under attack.
Finally, remember to take care of yourself—espsecially if you’re a survivor as well. Showing up for a loved one or a member of your community can be hugely healing, but it’s also hard emotional work. If being a support is difficult, overwhelming or triggering for you, that’s understandable. Please make sure you’re getting the emotional support you need as well.
Healing is Possible
As trauma therapist Megan Sullivan-Tuba, LMFT says, “healing from sexual trauma is absolutely possible, though the process isn’t always easy and sometimes it’s never ‘complete’ in the way we wish it might be.”
There are many paths to recovery, and finding allies and community along the way is important. Megan cites a number of tools that she’s seen support survivors on this path, such as:
- Talking to a trusted friend or family member
- Journaling/writing your story
- Working with a trauma-informed therapist
- Joining an SA support group to find community in others’ experiences
- Engaging in somatic practices and/or grounding techniques (e.g., yoga, mindfulness exercises)
- Leaning into creative practices or other enjoyable activities (art, music, spending time with pets)
About the Author
Dr. Maya Borgueta is a licensed psychologist and the founder of Stella Nova Psychology. She provides high quality, online therapy in New York and California, with a focus on intersectional support for women and the LGBTQIA+ community. Her specialty areas include anxiety and stress management, burnout, workplace trauma, and BIPOC and immigrant mental health.
If you’d like to learn more about working with Dr. Maya or any of the therapists in our Stella Nova network, schedule a free, 20-minute consultation to get started today.
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