# Stella Nova Psychology, Inc.

> Therapy for Women, Couples & LGBTQIA+ in California


## Posts

- [Home For The Holidays? Navigating The Season As An LGBTQIA+ Person](https://stellanovapsych.com/navigating-the-holidays-as-a-queer-person/): If you're not out to family or friends—for safety or for other personal reasons—going home for the holidays can feel more stressful than celebratory. Even folks who are out may be facing family who are uninformed, or even openly hostile. Every family has its own expectations and culture. Knowing what's safe to talk about, wear, or even what name and pronouns you are able to use can add to the confusion and stress of the season.
- [Why do we love horror? The psychology of spooky season](https://stellanovapsych.com/the-psychology-of-spooky-season-why-we-love-horror/): From haunted houses to video games to horror movies, people will pay good money to be creeped out, spooked, or generally have the crap scared out of them. We often go to great lengths to avoid scary situations in real life, and for good reason—it's an evolutionary survival mechanism. So what accounts for the lasting popularity of horror?  
- [When it's not just burnout: Recognizing trauma in the workplace](https://stellanovapsych.com/workplace-trauma/)
- [What is Somatic EMDR Therapy—and How Can It Help You Heal?](https://stellanovapsych.com/what-is-somatic-emdr-therapy/): EMDR and somatic therapy are two of the buzziest and most-requested therapies for people seeking trauma treatment today. But did you know that they can be integrated to provide an even more holistic and effective approach? Stella Nova therapist Sage Swiatek, LCSW, breaks down what you need to know about Somatic EMDR Therapy.
- [Finding Purpose After Pain: How The Thunderbolts* Transformed Trauma Into Resilience](https://stellanovapsych.com/transforming-trauma-into-resilience/): As a psychologist who often works with trauma, I enjoy looking to pop culture for stories of resilience and healing.  The Thunderbolts' display many of the hallmark symptoms of Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (cPTSD). I invite you to learn about what cPTSD looks like using examples from this film. (Spoilers ahead!)
- [What Should I Do If I'm Feeling Stuck? Four questions to ask yourself](https://stellanovapsych.com/what-to-ask-yourself-when-youre-feeling-stuck/): Are you feeling stuck in life? Maybe you have a sense that something is off. Or you're moving through your days on autopilot, craving change but unsure of what the next step is. Slowing down and engaging in honest self-reflection can offer just enough clarity or momentum to take steps towards getting unstuck. Here are some reflection questions that I find helpful when I'm stuck in my own life.
- [A Q&A with Harley Quinzel, LCSW](https://stellanovapsych.com/qa-harley-quinzel-lcsw/)
- [What Women Should Know About Sleep and Mental Health](https://stellanovapsych.com/what-women-should-know-about-sleep-and-mental-health/): While sleep is essential for everyone, women face distinct challenges that can impact both the quality and quantity of their rest. It’s our hope that understanding these unique influences can help women prioritize rest in a way that truly supports their mental health. With World Sleep Day approaching on March 15th, it’s the perfect time to highlight the unique factors that affect women’s sleep—and their mental health.
- [Feeling Overwhelmed? Try This 5-Minute Mental Health Check-In](https://stellanovapsych.com/mental-health-checkpoint/): Between work, relationships, and everyday responsibilities, it can be overwhelming to know how to support your mental health. Many of us are coping with distractions or things that don’t feel like the best for us. Consider this a gentle checkpoint—a way to see where you're at mentally and gauge if support is needed!
- [4 Takeaways from Dry January for Healthier Habits Year-Round](https://stellanovapsych.com/4-takeaways-from-dry-january-for-healthier-habits-year-round/): January is quickly coming to an end, and many of us may have participated in the popular annual trend known as Dry January. While motivations may vary, there are some valuable lessons we can learn from Dry January to help us to create lasting change in our drinking and in other areas of our lives, all year long.
- [You Don’t Have To Be Fearless Right Now](https://stellanovapsych.com/you-dont-have-to-be-fearless/): Bishop Mariann Budde’s sermon at the inaugural prayer service on Tuesday morning was a powerful speech, in which she used her platform to directly address the president. She implored him to have mercy on communities who are scared right now.    If you listen carefully you can hear her voice shake as she begins to address the president. She’s scared, and she was there doing this anyway. Beautifully, gracefully, eloquently. The truth is that doing things in spite of fear is the heart of bravery. It emphasizes strength in acting despite it. 
- [Tips for Coping With Infidelity During The Holiday Season](https://stellanovapsych.com/coping-with-infidelity-2/): There’s no easy time to face the agony of betrayal after learning about a partner’s affair. Or, on the other hand, dealing with the aftermath of engaging in one yourself. That said, the holiday season can be a particularly difficult time to heal from infidelity. Social obligations can become overwhelming and expectations of joy, merriment, and celebration are high.     If you find yourself in that position this year, I’m deeply sorry—there is neither a quick nor easy solution. However, if you’re hoping to stay together and work towards recovery, I hope the following tips may support you. 
- [Mental Health for Survivors of Sexual Assault As Abusers Take Power](https://stellanovapsych.com/mental-health-for-survivors-of-sexual-assault-as-abusers-take-power/): For many survivors of sexual assault, the news these days is bad — and quite possibly, psychologically triggering. It's painful to watch powerful men not only avoiding consequences for rape and sexual abuse, but being elevated to some of the highest positions in our government. If you're overwhelmed right now, you're not alone. And you're not wrong. Anyone who is struggling deserves support and care. Here are a few suggestions from a therapist that might help.  
- [4 Reasons To Start Therapy Now — And Not Wait For The New Year](https://stellanovapsych.com/reasons-to-start-therapy-in-december/): As the end of another year approaches quickly, many people start making plans to begin therapy in the New Year. But waiting until the clock strikes midnight on December 31st to begin looking for a therapist might mean missing out on crucial opportunities to prioritize your mental health now.
- [Somatic Therapy for Navigating Our Traumatic Times](https://stellanovapsych.com/somatic-therapy-for-navigating-our-traumatic-times/): It’s become increasingly evident that we’re living through complex and difficult times. Many people are calling this “The Age of Polycrisis”, as we’re facing multiple, interconnected crises at once. More than ever, people are seeking somatic therapy to better support their emotional regulation and resilience. Somatic therapy can be an invitation to get to know our bodies and nervous systems better. 
- [6 Strategies To Reduce Election Anxiety](https://stellanovapsych.com/how-to-reduce-election-anxiety/): With election season in full swing, many of our clients report struggling to manage the overwhelming influx of news as they prepare for Election Day on November 5th. Fortunately, they also report feeling more empowered once they learn that there are things they can do to help reduce their election-related anxiety and overwhelm. We hope that these six strategies can also help you regain a sense of peace and control in these uncertain times. 
- [Busting Myths About Bisexuality](https://stellanovapsych.com/busting-myths-about-bisexuality/): Bi+ identities continue to be misunderstood and misrepresented both by straight society as well as within the LGBTQ+ community, but bi folks deserve better. As always, we're here to bust stigma and set myths straight.
- [From Perfectionism to Progress: How To Adopt a “Good Enough” Mindset](https://stellanovapsych.com/recovering-from-perfectionism/): Having high standards and an unrelenting work ethic can help us achieve challenging goals. It works up to a point, before its negative side effects, like poor self-esteem and procrastination, catch up with us.     If you feel like your own perfectionistic standards have been working against you, it may be time to embrace the concept of “Good Enough.” Here are some ways to start embracing “good enough” and loosen the grip that perfectionism has on us.
- [Using Nonviolent Communication to Improve Your Relationship](https://stellanovapsych.com/using-nonviolent-communication-to-improve-your-relationship/): Nonviolent Communication is about cultivating a language of compassion—it’s both a spirit and a process. And, while it’s fairly straightforward, I’ve witnessed swift and dramatic improvements in couples’ attunement, listening skills, kindness, and willingness to understand their partners once they get practicing. Here I’ll share an overview and some additional resources so you can start applying NVC skills in your relationships—romantic, platonic, familial and otherwise. 
- [What We Still Get Wrong About Multiracial Identity](https://stellanovapsych.com/what-we-still-get-wrong-about-multiracial-identity/): Mixed identity can be a source of pride and joy. It can also be enormously frustrating to feel othered, misunderstood, or made invisible — at times, even within our own families.     If you’re multiracial, you probably have spent time reflecting on how your heritage has shaped you. And you may have a different perspective on race and culture than your monoracial counterparts. 
- [Fostering Healthy Interdependence in Your Relationship: A Guide](https://stellanovapsych.com/fostering-healthy-interdependence-in-your-relationship/): Finding balance between independence and connection is a challenge many couples face. With healthy interdependence,  partners can maintain their individuality while offering mutual support. Whether you’re navigating hyper-independence or codependence, these strategies can help you and your partner grow closer without losing yourselves. 
- [Is Anxiety a Friend or Foe? A Look at Inside Out 2](https://stellanovapsych.com/anxiety-friend-or-foe-a-look-at-inside-out-2/): Whether its “Sunday scaries,” impostor syndrome, social anxiety, or bearing witness to our socio-political climate, anxiety is omnipresent. A psychologist's reflections on Inside Out 2 and her own journey with anxiety.
- [Are You Lonely? How To Tell, And What You Can Do About It](https://stellanovapsych.com/managing-loneliness/): Nearly half of American adults report feeling lonely and disconnected, and the health implications of this are alarming, ranging from mental health complications to an increased risk of premature death. The good news is that we have the power to get ourselves out of this cycle. 
- [What Millennial Women Should Know About Covid in 2024](https://stellanovapsych.com/long-covid-2024/): Sick of Covid? Me too. Here's what I've learned as a psychologist supporting women with Long Covid in 2024, and what you need to know too.
- [4 Things We Love About Being Queer This Pride Month](https://stellanovapsych.com/4-things-we-love-about-being-queer/): There are as many wonderful things about being queer as there are queer people in the world–it would be impossible to cover all the ways queerness can be an enriching, life saving experience in a single blog post. So today, we’re just going to focus on four big ones.
- [Understanding Asexuality](https://stellanovapsych.com/understanding-asexuality/): Whether you decide to take the label “Asexual” or not, knowing the term and validating your experiences is always helpful to knowing more about ourselves.  It might also help with communication with partners or finding partners when we have a clearer idea of what our attraction 
- [On Heartbreak:  Navigating Ambiguous Loss, Leaning Into Grief, and Finding Comfort in Creativity](https://stellanovapsych.com/heartbreak-ambiguous-loss-and-grief/): Heartbreak mirrors the grief experienced by death in many ways, and it also has some important differences. In the aftermath of a breakup, it’s important to allow ourselves space to grieve and to accept the dizzying array of emotions that follow.  You can't simply pack them away in a shoebox with your lover’s belongings.
- [What is Premarital Counseling and Who Does it Help?](https://stellanovapsych.com/what-is-premarital-counseling-and-who-does-it-help/):   Just as individual therapy can be part of your personal growth and self-care routine, premarital counseling can be a safe space for learning new partnership skills, navigating transitions, and improving your relationship health.
- [Why "Feeling Your Feelings" Actually Matters](https://stellanovapsych.com/how-to-feel-your-feelings/): Feelings can be useful data points that allow one to understand how something is impacting a person. They are our road map to understanding ourselves and our world. And yet, it can be quite difficult to allow ourselves to “sit in a feeling”. Learning how to experience your emotions, instead of hiding from them, is important for improving relationships and understanding yourself.
- [Real Talk About Impostor Syndrome (and 5 Ways to Cope)](https://stellanovapsych.com/real-talk-about-impostor-syndrome-and-5-ways-to-cope/): Impostor syndrome, as it’s commonly known, refers to the experience of feeling inadequate or like a fraud, despite your achievements. This is a common phenomenon that up to 70% of people will experience in their lifetime.
- [Navigating Difficult Workplace Dynamics](https://stellanovapsych.com/navigating-difficult-workplace-dynamics/):   Dominated by what we’ve come to know as hustle culture, American workplaces often consist of high pressure environments, excessive work hours, and unclear or creeping job roles, and the pressure to be self-sufficient and prove your worth through productivity and material gains.
- [Ask a Couple Therapist: How Do I Build Healthy Relationship Habits?](https://stellanovapsych.com/building-healthy-relationship-habits/): The most important effort we put into our relationships are the small things we do on a day-to-day basis. Communicating care and affection. Making space for each other’s needs. Spending time enjoying each other’s company.
- [5 Key Benefits of Group Therapy for Your Mental Health](https://stellanovapsych.com/5-key-benefits-of-group-therapy-for-your-mental-health/): Group therapy can help you gain insight from people who have dealt with similar situations and can help to remind you that you’re not alone. Hearing other people talk about going through something that you’ve gone through can help lessen the stigma around your experience. 
- [How Can I Unlink My Self-Worth From Productivity?](https://stellanovapsych.com/unlinking-self-worth-from-productivity/): Self worth is our view on ourselves and how we do or don’t see ourselves as worthy of love, kindness, respect and rest, like anyone else. But it can be hard to connect to. People often find the easiest way to feel any sort of worth in themselves is to be impressively productive.
- [Beyond “No Is a Complete Sentence”: Setting Boundaries Skillfully for Healthy Relationships](https://stellanovapsych.com/beyond-no-is-a-complete-sentence-setting-boundaries-skillfully-for-healthy-relationships/): No is a complete sentence. But it’s not the only way, the “best” way, or the “right” way to set a boundary. We need different approaches to setting boundaries in different situations because there is no “one size fits all” solution for relationships. 
- [Navigating a Fraught Body Image at Thanksgiving Dinner](https://stellanovapsych.com/navigating-a-fraught-body-image-at-thanksgiving-dinner/): A holiday with food at the center can be incredibly daunting for anyone managing body image issues. Those struggling with or recovering from an eating disorder can find themselves triggered, or unable to focus on the holiday celebration. They’re too busy in survival mode to enjoy the chance to gather with loved ones.
- [It's Open Enrollment! How To Find A Plan That Covers Out-Of-Network Therapy](https://stellanovapsych.com/how-to-find-a-plan-that-covers-out-of-network-therapy/)
- [Four Somatic Therapy Exercises For When You're Feeling Anxious](https://stellanovapsych.com/four-somatic-therapy-exercises-for-when-youre-feeling-anxious/): Exercises are used in somatic therapy to help strengthen your awareness of the mind-body connection and to express emotions that are causing you distress. Incorporating the body into your work in therapy can help you develop awareness of both your mental and physical experiences with anxiety or other disorders.
- [Alternatives to Calling 911: How To Help A Suicidal Friend](https://stellanovapsych.com/how-to-help-a-suicidal-friend-without-calling-law-enforcement/)
- [Announcing: Stella Nova Community Cares](https://stellanovapsych.com/announcing-stella-nova-community-cares/): Community is one of Stella Nova's core values. Here's why we're supporting Lyon-Martin Community Health as our Month of Giving program evolves into a year-round effort. 
- [Recognizing Grief: Four Types Of Grief We Need To Talk About](https://stellanovapsych.com/recognizing-grief/)
- [Don’t Open Up Your Relationship Without Having These 5 Conversations First](https://stellanovapsych.com/dont-open-up-your-relationship-without-having-these-5-conversations-first/)
- [How Ableism Impacts Our Mental Health](https://stellanovapsych.com/ableism-and-mental-health/): Ableism and stigma around disability undermine the mental health of people living with physical and mental disabilities alike. Learn more about how disabled people's mental health is impacted by ableism in day-to-day life. 
- [21 Ways to Celebrate LGBTQ+ Pride in Los Angeles](https://stellanovapsych.com/21-ways-to-celebrate-lgbtq-pride-in-los-angeles/): Los Angeles is one of the most fun cities in the world to celebrate Pride. There's something for everyone! Read more to learn about events this month beyond parades and the party scene.
- [11 Ways to Celebrate LGBTQ+ Pride in San Francisco](https://stellanovapsych.com/11-ways-to-celebrate-lgbtq-pride-in-san-francisco/): Whether you’re on a tight budget, looking to connect with other artists queer folks or wanting to honor LGBTQ+ history, we’ve put together this list of queer-focused events to take part in this Pride month.
- [Managing Depression At Work](https://stellanovapsych.com/managing-depression-at-work/)
- [Four Challenges Faced by BIPOC Women in Therapy (And Three Things That Can Help)](https://stellanovapsych.com/four-challenges-faced-by-bipoc-women-in-therapy/)
- [Microaggressions and Mental Health at Work](https://stellanovapsych.com/microaggressions-and-mental-health-at-work/)
- [Women's History Month Belongs To All Of Us](https://stellanovapsych.com/womens-history-month-belongs-to-all-of-us/)
- [Couples Counseling: Myths and Realities](https://stellanovapsych.com/couples-counseling-myths-and-realities/)
- [Five Things Every San Francisco Therapist Should Know](https://stellanovapsych.com/five-things-every-san-francisco-therapist-should-know/)
- [Reflections on Being a Feminist Therapist](https://stellanovapsych.com/feminist-therapist/)
- [The Pros and Cons of Setting New Years Resolutions](https://stellanovapsych.com/the-pros-and-cons-of-setting-new-years-resolutions-in-2023/)
- [Can AI help us have a happier holiday season? Therapists weigh in on ChatGPT's advice](https://stellanovapsych.com/therapists-weigh-in-on-chatgpts-advice/)
- [The Mental Health Consequences of Getting Laid Off](https://stellanovapsych.com/mental-health-after-a-layoff/)
- [Intro to Mindfulness: Tips from a Mind-Body Psychologist](https://stellanovapsych.com/intro-to-mindfulness/)
- [Self Care Ideas: SF Bay Area & Los Angeles](https://stellanovapsych.com/self-care-ideas-sf-bay-area-los-angeles/)
- [Self-Care Isn't Solo Care](https://stellanovapsych.com/self-care-isnt-solo-care/)
- [Six Ways to Practice Self-Care At Work](https://stellanovapsych.com/self-care-at-work/)
- [Your Back-to-School Reading List, According to Therapists](https://stellanovapsych.com/your-back-to-school-reading-list-according-to-therapists/)
- [How To Get The Most Out Of Online Therapy](https://stellanovapsych.com/how-to-get-the-most-out-of-online-therapy/)
- [Beyond Postpartum Depression: 8 Things You Might Not Recognize As Postpartum Distress](https://stellanovapsych.com/beyond-postpartum-depression/)
- [Chronic Pain & Mental Illness: Recognizing Invisible Disabilities this Disability Pride Month](https://stellanovapsych.com/chronic-pain-mental-illness-honoring-invisible-disability/)
- [Abortion Rights are a Mental Health Issue](https://stellanovapsych.com/abortion-rights-are-a-mental-health-issue/)
- [How to Use Out-Of-Network Benefits for Therapy](https://stellanovapsych.com/how-to-access-out-of-network-benefits-for-therapy/)
- [Ask a Therapist: How Do I Make Friends As An Adult?](https://stellanovapsych.com/making-friends/)

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